I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
