It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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