giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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