I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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