if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
