Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
