So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize