Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
