And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
