Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
