hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize