You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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