Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
