Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
