if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
