I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
