Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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