Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
