i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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