8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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