Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
