Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
