She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize