mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
