You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
