The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
