I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
