i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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