i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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