it wasn't lemon gatorade
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
