i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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