I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Girls should come with a carfax report
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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