I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
