brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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