I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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