i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
