The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This baby is an asshole
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
