another moral hangover. fuck.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
