hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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