Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
