Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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