Fine. I'll sleep in my office
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize