Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
