bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
