Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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