i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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