We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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