Everything about him screamed your future.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
