Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
