Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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