I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
