How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
