hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
