i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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