Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize