I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
