The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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