And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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