roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
