went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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