The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
