clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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