so let's talk penis.
Girls should come with a carfax report
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
